"Quotes and Things"

"Unusual & Strange Phobias"

2012-01-27T08:57:00.000-06:00

*** Will and Guy's List of Unusual and Strange Phobias ***

* Pteronophobia - Panic when tickled by feathers.
* Pediophobia - Fear of dolls.
* Russophobia - Dread of Russians.
* Zemmiphobia - Fear of the great mole rat.
* Consecotaleophobia - Fear of chopsticks.
* Eleutherophobia - Strange phobia of freedom.
* Epistemophobia - Fear of knowledge.
* Ereuthrophobia - Dread of blushing.
* Euphobia - Fear of hearing good news.
* Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words.

"Winter Comes A'Calling"

2011-12-24T08:55:00.000-06:00

photo by Gigi Ann

Oh, Winter comes a'calling

To dampen life's warming days

Spreading across the meadow

Where the last leaf of autumn lays

How sadly does the dying leaf

Flutter ~ to the frosty ground

Its glow a fading ember

Falling softly ~ without a sound

No more to see the sunrise

Above the forest ~ deeply green

Nor to treasure the glowing twilight

As it passes now ~ unseen

Oh, yes ~ Old Winter's a'calling

Where the barren trees now stand

Spreading ~ a darkened silence

With the touch of its chilly hand

The Winter brings the ending

Of our summer and autumn days

Their warm memories ~ are now buried

Where the last leaf of autumn lays.....

~ Hazelmarie Elliott ~

"A Gift is Today"

2011-12-17T08:44:00.005-06:00

Today is a gift
Given to you and to me,
And the only one like it
That there ever will be.

So please use it wisely,
Spread love and some cheer,
Because the days will quickly
Turn into a year.

Roses can mean most anything
A symbol of love or friendship true
But today these sweet pink roses
I'm sending just to you.

Have a wonderful week!

Author Unknown

"Love Is In The Air"

2011-12-13T09:21:00.000-06:00

"Love is like a butterfly. It goes where it pleases and pleases wherever it goes."

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction."

"Love is like standing in wet cement the longer you stay the harder to leave and you can never leave without leaving your marks behind."

"Love is like a violin, the music may stop now and then but the strings remain forever."

"Love knows not its depth till the hour of separation."

"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love."

"Don't frown---you never know who might be falling in love with your smile."

"May the hinges of your love never grow rusty."

"Love sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."

All these are by unknown authors, if you know who said them, please tell me in your comments. Thank you. ~ Gramma Ann

"A Few Funnies"

2011-12-12T06:59:00.000-06:00

A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband.

She says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."
Her husband asks. "Is that you, or the wine talking?"
She replies, "It's me....talking to the wine."

I found these on Merle's blog and thought they were cute, so I
am posting them on my blog for all who visit here to enjoy.
Merle has been in the hospital for a few weeks, why not drop over to her blog and spread some love to her.

2011-11-21T08:23:00.002-06:00

Will and Guy's Joke of the Day

Here are actual calls to computer technical support reps:

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

==============================
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it into the computer yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

=====================

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

=================================

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

============================

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

"A Boy and His Dog"

2011-11-17T09:19:00.004-06:00

A boy and his dog make a glorious pair;

No better friendship is found anywhere,

For they talk and they walk and they run and they play,

And they have their deep secrets for many a day;

And that boy has a comrade who thinks and who feels,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

He may go where he will and his dog will be there,

May revel in mud and his dog will not care;

Faithful he'll stay for the slightest command

And bark with delight at the touch of his hand;

Oh, he owns a treasure which nobody steals,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

No other can lure him away from his side;

He's proof against riches and station and pride;

Fine dress does not charm him, and flattery's breath

Is lost on the dog, for he's faithful to death;

He sees the great soul which the body conceals--

Oh, it's great to be young with a dog at your heels!

~ Edgar Guest ~

The picture is of my Great-grandson, Evan,
and his dog Butch, which he got a week ago.

"Intriguing Signs"

2011-11-12T07:51:00.000-06:00

1) Sign on motorway garage:
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.
YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS

2) Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

3) Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

4) Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

5) Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

6) Sign on a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

"Ads Gone Wrong"

2011-11-10T10:27:00.001-06:00

Ads Gone Wrong

For sale:
Antique desk suitable for lady with
thick legs and large drawers.

Wanted:
Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery.
We do it carefully by hand.

For Sale
Eight puppies from a German Sheppard
and an Alaskan Hussy.

Toaster:
A gift that every member of the family appreciates.
Automatically burns toast.

Sheer stockings:
Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that
lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory.
Must be willing to travel.

Used Cars:
Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion.
Blue Cross and salary.

Mamarocks.com

"Why 2:00 A.M.?"

2011-11-03T06:34:00.001-05:00

This is a repeat of the November 03, 2008 post.

I was wondering why 2:00 a.m. was chosen for the time to change our clocks in the fall and spring. I found this explanation at: www.webexhibits.org.

In the U.S.A., 2:00 a.m. was originally chosen as the changeover time because it was practical and minimized disruption. Most people were at home and this was the time when the fewest trains were running. It is late enough to minimally affect bars and restaurants, and it prevents the day from switching to yesterday, which would be confusing. It is early enough that the entire Continental United States switches by daybreak, and the changeover occurs before most early shift workers and early churchgoers are affected.

So there, now I know why 2:00 a.m. was chosen! The end!

"Feet Business"

2011-10-20T09:22:00.001-05:00

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so frustrating! Give it a go This is so funny/weird that it will boggle your mind. And if you are anywhere near as stubborn as I am, you will keep trying at least a few more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.

1) While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2) Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand.

3) Your foot will change direction. I told you so. And, there's nothing you can do about it! Go ahead: KEEP TRYING ALL YOU WANT.

Have a great day. Now get back to work.

Out of the Mouths of Babes:

Greg, the three year old, put his shoes on by himself. His father, Barry, noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot and vice-versa. He sat Greg down on a chair and said quietly, 'Greg, your shoes are on the wrong feet.'

He looked up at his father with a quizzical expression and replied, 'Don't mess me about, Dad, I know they're my feet.'

"Great Truths Adults Have Learned"

2011-10-11T09:43:00.006-05:00

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2. Wrinkles don't hurt.

3. Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground.

5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy....

7. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

8. Take the time to live! Life is too short.

"Philosophy Of Housecleaning"

2011-10-07T08:00:00.003-05:00

I don't do windows because...I love birds and don't want one to fly into a clean window and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because...I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt, then I'll feel terrible, (plus they may sue me.)

I don't mind dust bunnies because...they are very good company. I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.

I don't disturb cobwebs because...I want every creature to have a home of their own.

I don't Spring clean because...I love all seasons and don't want the other ones to get jealous.

I don't put things away because...My husband will never be able to find them again.

I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because...I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

I don't iron because...I choose to believe them when they say: "Permanent Press."

I don't stress much on anything because..."A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!

Remember....A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!!!

The Purple Treehouse

"Something Slightly Different"

2011-09-29T08:33:00.002-05:00

Will and Guy's Jokes...
To paraphrase that great comic Monty Python, 'Now for something slightly different'. Here are amusing even clever, plays on words. These are the sort of jokes that make you smile rather than laugh.

# A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
# What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
# A backward poet writes inverse.
# With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
# The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
# He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
# Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
# When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
# Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
# Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
# Acupuncture is a jab well done.
# Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Five Funny Wedding Shorts...

1) Nicky: I'm a man of few words.
Mike: I'm married, too.
2) The five essential words for a good marriage: 'I apologize' and 'You are right.'
3) A wedding ring may not be as tight as a tourniquet, but it does an equally good job of stopping circulation.
4) If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.
5) My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them.

"Oldies But Goodies"

2011-09-20T09:50:00.001-05:00

1) You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

2) The concept of using real money instead of credit or debit to make a purchase is foreign to you.

3) Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

4) Your idea of being organised is multi-coloured Post-it notes.

5) You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

6) You enter your password on the microwave.

7) You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.

8) You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of four.

9) You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. * He 'phones you back from his bedroom, 'What's for dinner?'

10) You chat several times a day with a stranger from Canada, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbour all last year.

"Look On The Brighter Side Of Life"

2011-09-16T09:14:00.000-05:00

Will and Guy's Jokes
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
17. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
18. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
19. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
20. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

"Living In The Past"

2011-09-12T10:26:00.004-05:00

Living In The Past

Another year has passed and we're all a little older.
Last summer felt much hotter and last winter so much colder.

I wrack my brain for happy thoughts, to put down on my pad,
But lots of things that come to mind just make me kind of sad.

There was a time not long ago when life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand about "Living in the Past."

We used to go to weddings, football games and brunches.
Now we go to funeral homes, and after-funeral lunches.

We used to have hangovers, from parties that were gay.
Now we suffer body aches to wile the night away.

We used to go out dining, and couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags, come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel to places near and far.
Now we get a sore rear end from riding in the car.

We used to go out shopping for new clothing at the mall
Now we never bother...all the sizes are too small.

Some used to go to nightclubs and drink a little booze.
Now we stay at home at night and watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is, and now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up...before you get too old!

Author Unknown

"Over The Hill"

2011-09-02T19:29:00.005-05:00

How To Tell If You're Over The Hill

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

You buy shoes with crepe rubber soles.

The only reason you're still awake at 2 a.m. is indigestion.

People ask you what color your hair used to be.

You enjoy watching the news.

Your car must have four doors.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You have a dream about prunes.

You browse the bran cereal section in the grocery store.

You start worrying when your supply of Ben Gay is low.

You think a C.D. is a certificate of deposit.

You have more than 2 pairs of glasses.

You read the obituaries daily.

Your biggest concern when dancing is falling.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

You wear black socks with sandals.

You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.

You dance slow to the song "WIPE OUT"!!

If any of the above apply to you:

You Are Over The Hill
Mamarocks.com

The Purple Treehouse

"Quote It Saturday"

2011-08-28T08:37:00.002-05:00

This is a new little meme I found at "Fredas Voice"

Since I just found it today, I am a day late and three steps behind.

My quotes for today...

"Someone asked someone who was about my age; "How are you?" The answer was, "Fine. If you don't ask for details." ~ Katharine Hepburn

"You have to be very fond of men. Very, very fond. You have to be very fond of them to love them. Otherwise they're simply unbearable." ~ Marguerite Duras

"Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once." ~ Tallulah Bankhead

"The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it." ~ Shirley MacLaine

"Computer Fun"

2011-08-15T05:28:00.002-05:00

Will and Guy's Joke of the Day

'Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.' Andy Rooney

* Computer Tech Support Calls *

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech Support: 'Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'

Computer Joke

What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant?
A 1000 lb know-it-all.

"The Green Thing"

2011-08-06T17:50:00.006-05:00

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."
He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes.

Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Purple Tree House

"Happy Surprise"

2011-08-05T14:16:00.004-05:00

Wow! I received a comment asking me to check out my fellow blogger at Alaskan Book Cafe. She had received a nomination for the Liebster Blog award, and was also nominating me! What a lovely surprise! I haven't received an award in ages. Thank you
so much. Why not hop on over and give her a visit, I know she would love it.

The goal of the award is to spotlight up and coming bloggers
who currently have less than 200 followers. The rules of the
award are:

1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to
you.
2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a
comment on their blog.
3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
4. Have faith that your followers will spread the love to
other bloggers.
5. And most of all - have bloggity-blog fun!

Since I have so many fellow bloggers, and I enjoy reading
all their blogs so much, I feel uncomfortable choosing just 5. Therefore, I am breaking the rules and inviting anyone who
visits to SNATCH the award and enjoy the honor of accepting
it from me to you.

"WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?"

2011-07-26T21:19:00.000-05:00

Received this in an e-mail. Even if you've seen these before, they are still funny.

It makes a person wonder: What do they teach in Journalism classes today?!!

THE YEAR'S BEST HEADLINES !!

"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"

"Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash. Expert Says."

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers."

"Miners Refuse to Work After Death."

"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant."

"War Dims Hope for Peace."

"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile."

"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures."

"Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide."

"Man Struck By Lightning; Faces Battery Charge."

"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group."

"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft."

"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks."

"Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half."

"Hospitals are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors."

And the winner is....

"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery: Hundreds Dead."

Hopefully you have smiled once at the stupidity. We all need a good chuckle at least once a day....

"Quotes About Living"

2011-07-18T06:14:00.019-05:00

"I could never understand why anybody would take LSD for recreation. It's like, I think I am going to take out my appendix. That would be a nice weekend." ~ Larry Hagman

"Nothing in the world is more expensive than a woman who's free for the weekend." ~ Author Unknown

"Old timers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, They're successful." ~ Casey Stengel

"Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is to hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV." ~ Rita Rudner

"An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, "So far so good!"

Have a splendid weekend.

QUOTES ABOUT LIVING

"The unfortunate thing about this world is that good habits are so much easier to give up than bad ones." ~ W. Somerset Maugham

"As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't." ~ Carrie Fisher

"May you live all the days of your life." ~ Jonathan Swift

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." ~ Mark Twain

"Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form." ~ Andre Maurois

"What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of forty is simply a loss of energy." ~ Voltaire

"The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball." ~ Doug Larson

"You can learn new things at any time in your life if you're willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you." ~ Barbara Sher

"I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence." ~ Garry Trudeau

"When somebody says to me--which they do like, every five years--"How does it feel to be over the hill?" My response is, "I'm just heading up the mountain." ~ Joan Baez

"Happy Week-end Quotes"

2011-07-13T16:27:00.003-05:00

Orkut Scraps

"I could never understand why anybody would take LSD for recreation. It's like, I think I am going to take out my appendix. That would be a nice weekend." ~ Larry Hagman

"Nothing in the world is more expensive than a woman who's free for the weekend." ~ Author Unknown

"Old timers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, They're successful." ~ Casey Stengel

"Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is to hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV." ~ Rita Rudner

"An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, "So far so good!"

Have a splendid weekend.

"It's My Lazy Day"

2011-07-10T19:11:00.002-05:00

"I don't take it personally when people call me lazy, because in my heart I know I'm not lazy. I just choose not to work."

"You can't teach people to be lazy--either they have it, or they don't." ~ Dagwood Bumstead

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy." ~ Charlie McCarthy

"The lazier a man is, the more he plans to do tomorrow." ~ A Norwegian Proverb

"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired." ~ Jules Renard

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy." ~ Bob Hope

"The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves." ~ W.C. Fields

"Will and Guy's Jokes"

2011-07-02T07:37:00.000-05:00

Will and Guy's Joke of the Day

Today something a little different. We bet that at least one of these sayings will strike a chord.

Never judge a book by its movie.
- JW Eagan

"Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it."
- Cullen Hightower

"A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell."
- George Bernard Shaw

"If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day."
- John A. Wheeler

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
- Groucho Marx

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
- Sue Murphy

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
- Doug Larson

I never know how much of what I say is true.
- Bette Midler

People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called Suffering From a Mental Illness.
- Heather Armstrong

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."
- Ernest Benn

"In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known."
- Thomas Pickering

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
- Andy Rooney

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."
- Alfred Hitchcock

"It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time."
- Tallulah Bankhead

"Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them."
- HL Mencken

"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money."
- Joey Bishop

"The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
- Ronald Reagan

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
- Will Rogers

"I hate music, especially when it's played."
- Jimmy Durante

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."
- Isaac Asimov

"There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad."
- Salvador Dali

"If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?"

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."
- Hunter S. Thompson

"First Tractor Pull"

2011-06-27T12:29:00.000-05:00

This is my Great-Grandson Aaron's First Tractor Pull. He was very excited, but I think Mom and Grandma were more excited. ; )

"Monday's Music Moves Me" June 27, 2011

2011-06-26T19:00:00.002-05:00

"Monday's Music Moves Me"

Visit Xmas Dolly for all the rules. Click above.

This week the theme is any person or group known by one name. My choice is a woman most people know by "CHARO," I hope you all enjoy this little bit of comedy by "CHARO" Dean, and Danny.

"Terry Doing Wheelies"

2011-06-25T21:44:00.000-05:00

Terry Holler is my Son-in-law. He scares me with his antics.. to put it mildly.

"Monday's Music Moves Me" June 13, 2011

2011-06-12T15:06:00.004-05:00

"Monday's Music Moves Me"

Visit Xmas Dolly for all the rules. Click above.

This ones for you Xmas Dolly... "Happy 2nd Blogiversary."

"Monday's Music Moves Me"

2011-06-06T06:17:00.006-05:00

"Monday's Music Moves Me"

Visit Xmas Dolly for all the rules. Click above.

This week is a Freebie Week, meaning we can choose any theme we like, therefore I chose this little cutie by Dean and Goldie. Enjoy....

"Rules Issued to Female Teachers...1915"

2011-05-24T16:30:00.006-05:00

From Will and Guy

Rules Issued to Female Teachers

by the Los Angeles District in 1915

You will not marry during the term of your contract.

You are not to keep company with men.
You must be home between the hours of 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. unless attending a school function.
You may not loiter downtown in ice cream stores.
You may not travel beyond the city limits unless you have the permission of the chairman of the board.
You may not ride in a carriage or automobile with any man unless he is your father or brother.
You may not smoke cigarettes.
You may not dress in bright colours.
You may under no circumstances dye your hair.
You must wear at least two petticoats.
Your dresses must not be any shorter than two inches above the ankle.
To keep the school room neat and clean, you must: sweep the floor at least once daily; scrub the floor at least once a week with hot, soapy water; clean the blackboards at least once a day; and start the fire at 7 a.m. so the room will be warm by 8 a.m.

"Funny Sports Quotes"

2011-05-09T08:18:00.000-05:00

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season, "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh, "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

"Shaquille O'Neal [basketball] on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece, "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach, "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota, "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player, "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins, "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Oiler coach, Bum Phillips, when asked by Bob Cost why he takes his wife on all road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she is too dang ugly to kiss good-bye!"

"Remember When..."

2011-04-19T06:25:00.000-05:00

Anyone who looks over my blog knows I love "Remember When" things. I found this and just had to save it.

Remember when:

A computer was something on TV. From a science fiction show.

A window was something you hated to clean,

And a ram was cousin to the goat...

Meg was the name of your girlfriend.

And gig was what musicians got.

Now they all mean different things,

And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment.

A program was a TV show.

A cursor used profanity.

A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something you lost with age.

A CD was a bank account.

And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy,

You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to garbage,

not something you did to a file

And if you unzipped anything in public,

You'd be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the pile.

Hard drive was a long trip on the road.

A mouse pad was a hole in the wall.

And backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife.

Paste you did with glue.

A web was a spider's home.

And a virus was the flu.

I'd rather stick to my pad and paper,

and the memory in my head...

Nobody's been killed in a computer crash,

They just wish they were dead.

WOW, HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED !

"Open Toe Shoe Pledge"

2011-03-29T07:35:00.003-05:00

Alright ladies it's that time of year once again!!! I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So, PLEASE raise your big toes and repeat after me "The Open Toed Shoe Pledge"

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toed shoes.

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudgy out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister, tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begins to look like Vienna Sausages.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I swear not to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

"Room Of Her Own"

2011-03-28T08:17:00.002-05:00

" A woman must have money and a room of her own." (virginia wolfe)

This is one of my favorite quotes and in trying to figure out why, I've decided it's because of raising 5 children. No matter how much you love your children, there comes a time when you want to be able to go in your room, shut the door and have some private time to read, watch what YOU want to on TV, or just take a nap!!! Sometimes this upset them, because I would lock the door so they couldn't get in. The reason I know this, is one of them told me a few years ago. Up until then I didn't know that. Funny when your children become adults, than we find out what upset them when they were young. And as far as "a woman must have money" that's not a bad idea either ; )

"A Few Week-end Quotes"

2011-03-26T17:39:00.003-05:00

"I could never understand why anybody would take LSD for recreation. It's like, I think I am going to take out my appendix. That would be a nice weekend." ~ Larry Hagman

"Nothing in the world is more expensive than a woman who's free for the weekend." ~ Author Unknown

"Old timers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, They're successful." ~ Casey Stengel

"Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is to hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV." ~ Rita Rudner

"An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, "So far so good!"

Have a splendid weekend.

"Closed For The Season"

2011-03-05T23:56:00.011-06:00

The fat lady sang

The play is over for now

Closed for the season.

The curtain went up again

The music began to play

The fat lady sang.

The lights began to dim

The music fated away

The play is over for now.

The seats are all empty

The doors are all shut

Closed for the season.

One Stop Poetry

"A Special Rose"

2011-03-05T10:13:00.005-06:00

A SPECIAL ROSE

by Margaret Griffith

This is a special poem written by my sister

after her daughter died.

A special rose arrived one day.

A special rose from God's Bouquet,

A special rose that was so rare,

It needed love and special care.

And as it grew,

A love came through,

A love of God, a love of life.

A love that always seemed just right.

God sent a rare and special rose,

A greater gift nobody knows.

A special love sent from above,

A special rose to show His love.

Then came the day,

Our Lord did say,

A rose of God, a rose of life,

We need a rose that is just right.

And as His Heavenly garden grows,

More lovely with a special rose.

A rose of life, we sadly miss,

She left without a farewell kiss.

When times are sad,

I'm always glad.

A life of love, a life of care,

We gave our special rose so rare.

"Toothache Cure from 1885"

2011-03-02T08:38:00.001-06:00

Choosing the Right Filling

A little boy called Ben was taken to the dentist. Examination revealed that Ben had a cavity, which needed filling.

'Now, young man,' asked the dentist, 'what kind of filling would you like for that tooth, amalgam or composite?'

'I would prefer chocolate, please,' replied Ben.

Will and Guy's Joke of the Day #192

** Dentist Jokes **

* Fast - or Slow?

Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth extracted?
Dentist: $300
Patient: $300 for just a few minutes work, that's expensive.
Dentist: O.K. I'll pull it out slowly if you prefer.

* Good Dentist?
When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the 'Painless' dentist. However, a local little girl, called Gemima, disputed his claim.

'He's a fake!' Gemima told her friends. 'He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him - and he screamed like anyone else.'

Have a great day, everyone!

"Echoes of the Past"

2011-02-27T00:25:00.006-06:00

Photo by JackAZ Photography

Echoes of the past.
When I was a youngster in High School

I learn to type on a typewriter like this.

I spend many an hour typing:

"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."

There was no correcting mistakes,

except maybe with Whiteout.

Mostly you just started over

until you got it right.

We had no backspacing to correct mistakes.
And definitely no spell check.
Those were the wonderful days of my youth,
1956, 1957, and 1958.

One Shot Poetry

2011-02-26T11:02:00.003-06:00

Grandsons Tim and Evan

One day Tim (Evan's Daddy) and Evan were playing and having a good old time. At one point Evan said, "Daddy look at this," and stuck out two of his fingers.

Trying to keep Evan entertained, Tim reached out and stuck his tiny fingers in his mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them. Daddy went back to playing, but Evan stood staring at his fingers with a devastated look on his face. Daddy said, "What's wrong Sweetie?"

Evan replied, "What happened to my booger?"

Sorry, the computer made me do it... ; )

2011-02-19T05:56:00.004-06:00

My poem is the first one I entered on One Shot Wednesday, Oct. 13, 2010. I wrote it on a snowy winter day, February 13, 2008. Being a bit bored I decided to try to write a poem to ward off some of the boredom that day. So there you have it, that is how I decided to write a poem. As you all know by now, I am not a poet, just like to fool around for the fun of it. ~ Gigi Ann

"Memories"

When I was a young girl, I strolled in the woods,

and ate wild berries, boy were they good.

But, now that I'm older, I set in my chair and

stroll down the path of memories so fair.

I remember running through the pines

all covered with snow, they were so beautiful.

Oh! where did the time go?

There was sledding and dances, school fairs to attend,

also roller skating, and fun with my friends.

Then I was married and a mother of five.

How those little ones kept me active and alive.

Oh my! where did the time go?

I remember the smell of the babies so dear.

The sweet little sounds that came to my ears.

But now they are grown and have babes of their own.

And made me a Gramma, so grand and so great !!

Oh, dear me! where did the time go?

Time comes and time goes, but my memories remain.

Bringing me pleasure, as I stroll down memories lane.

It's always a delight to be back in my chair and

stroll down the path of memories so fair.

And wonder again as I look at the snow,

where oh where did the time go?

(Gigi Ann 2/13/2008)

One Stop Poetry

"Window of Life"

2011-02-13T01:50:00.015-06:00

Photo & Poem by Gigi Ann
As I gazed through the window of life,

What did I see?
A paradise of peace from sea to sea.
There were no wars, crime, violence or fear.
No policemen, or riots in the streets to hear.
There was no more hunger or sickness anywhere to be found.
It was peace and happiness all around.
As I gazed through the window of life
What did I see?
A paradise ahead for you and for me.

"By the Fern Brake"

2011-02-09T20:46:00.000-06:00

Photo by Leo J. Beachy

By the Fern Brake, deep and shady,

There I met a dark haired lady.

Dressed so fine in silk and flowers,

There she whiled away the hours.

Waiting until noon.

"Are you lost?" I asked the lady.

"Is this your home, the Fern Brake shady?

Will others come by star and moon?"

She only smiled, began to croon,

I'm only waiting until noon.

2011-02-06T13:47:00.014-06:00

Shower of Stars

Prairie Grass Glowing Hot Pink

Home of Superman
Poem by gigi ann....
Photo by Sean McMornick

One Shoot Sunday Poetry

"A Boy and His Dog"

2011-02-04T11:57:00.000-06:00

photo by Leo J. Beachy (1874-1927)

A boy and his dog make a glorious pair;

No better friendship is found anywhere,

For they talk and they walk and they run and they play,

And they have their deep secrets for many a day;

And the boy has a comrade who thinks and who feels,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

He may go where he will and his dog will be there,

May revel in mud and his dog will not care;

Faithful he'll stay for the slightest command

And bark with delight at the touch of his hand;

Oh, he owns a treasure which nobody steals,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

No other can lure him away from his side;

He's proof against riches and station and pride;

Fine dress does not charm him, and flattery's breath

Is lost on the dog, for he's faithful to death;

He sees the great soul which the body conceals--

Oh, it's great to be young with a dog at your heels!

Poem by Edgar Guest